Well.

In the past few months we've:

1. Hired a real estate attorney to advise us on the sewer thing. He told us that our real estate agent was negligent, and wrote a demand letter to her and her broker asking them to reimburse us for the cost of the repair. They in turn hired their own lawyer and made it clear that if we wanted to pursue it, we'd have to take them to court.
   
2. Watched the city arrive, guns a-blazing, seven months late, to ... fix the sewer? They set up a trailer-office-thingy, brought a huge backhoe, and got to work:
   Then they noticed the patch in the street, knocked on the door and asked me if we had recently had some work done on our sewer. Why, yes. The guy I spoke with claimed that it must have been a miscommunication at the city, and they were all out there by mistake, about to replace a section of the main sewer line in front of our house. (You have to wait until the line fails, apparently. The city does not do proactive maintenance.) They packed up and left, but not before sending another camera down to take a look -- and what did they see but a fresh sheet of roots hanging down at the spot where our side sewer connects to the stub.
3. Called the guy who managed our sewer repair project, to ask him about the new sheet of roots in our new side sewer. Over two weeks, I've called his office, his cell phone. Called his manager. Sent email. I'm practially stalking the guy. He hasn't responded.
   
4. Reported the inept concrete contractor to the Better Business Bureau. The BBB then contacted him to attempt a resolution. His semi-coherent response included accusations against our other contractors, threats to "turn her in" [meaning me], and something about a loophole. Loophole, indeed. Note for next time: Check references.
   
5. Verified that the gas line to the house is leaking, has been leaking for years, probably, into the soil underneath the front yard. This is why all the plants in the front yard are doing so poorly: Natural gas contaminates the soil with methane and other yuck. Fixed.
6. Patched the wall of the fishy-smelling room, tore down the remaining two closet walls and ceiling, and drywalled it. Matt did most of this, though I did tape and mud the wall. It all looks pretty damn good, and the fish smell is gone. During this work we hammered out the concept of varying levels of done-ness, or perfection: According to one of his coworkers, Matt is an 80% guy. Whereas I'm happy to pore over the last few percents. Go team!
   
7. Given up on getting the layers of wallpaper off the walls downstairs, and hired JJ to cover the whole mess with quarter-inch drywall. It's an 80% solution: far from perfect, but much easier. Matt had to go from room to room pulling forward and securing the electrical outlets and switches (which were no longer even with the wall surface). The baseboards, also, are no longer even with the walls: it didn't occur to anyone to pull them off beforehand. But it's done, and we've even painted some walls, which is a hallmark of civilization, is it not?
8. During a heavy rainstorm, discovered a leak in the attic, water dribbling down the side of a chimney. Jason climbed up there and sealed up some cracks around the flashing and pronounced it sound.
9. During same rainstorm, discovered a leak under the basement apartment's door. Also sealed and sound.
   
10. Added towel bars to the upstairs bathroom.
11. Done a lot of landscaping. Our garden is going to be awesome. I am going to live there.
    
12. Beta is tired of all this.